I've got a stomachful of Xanax. I took what was left of a bottle. It might have been too much.

Happy Thanksgiving turkeys! I suppose before I can get to eating copius amounts of bird - dark meat only please - along with many, many plates of my Mom's stuffing, and drinking til I get that great wine buzz, I need to say a few things:
Holy crap Dennis Green is done. Guess I didn't see that one coming. (Please note the sarcasm). Regardless, what does that mean for the Vikes on Sunday? A freakin' win, that's what. Who's to say that Denny won't throw the game for Brad Johnson's sake? Everyone knows Brad Johnson is Denny's favorite player in history. Well, maybe behind Daunte Culpepper.

This weeks picks, home team in CAPS.

Miami over DETROILET
Christ, Joey Harrington is the second coming in Miami. Of course, it took the Vikings to make him look like Joe freaking Montana last week.

DALLAS over Tampa Bay
Romosexual has been a god send for Dallas. I didn't think they'd have a chance with Bledsoe back there, but Parcells made the right move.

Denver over KANSAS CITY
I feel sorry for those of you who won't be able to see this game, because you have Time Warner, or Dish, or whatever. I have Comcast - price gouging assholes - but at least I get the NFL Network, complete the Bryant Gumbel's pompous commentary. Too bad they cancelled Gumbel to Gumbel.

ST LOUIS over San Francisco
San Fran has been crap. They beat the Vikings because they couldn't score. The Rams can score.

MINNESOTA over Arizona
So long Denny Green!

Carolina over WASHINGTON
The Panthers are coming on, and they get another weak opponent.

NEW YORK JETS over Houston
The Jets look like they could win the AFC East. Sounds like blasphemy doesn't it?

Jacksonville over BUFFALO
The Jags looked okay against a banged up Giants team. Buffalo has a decent defense, but I think Jax can overcome it.

New Orleans over ATLANTA
Good matchup, on paper. Atlanta has been horrid lately. Michael Vick is coming back to earth, and the Falcons D is hurting, still.

BALTIMORE over Pittsburgh
The Ravens sure have looked good lately. Pittsburgh has looked really bad. This could be lopsided.

SAN DIEGO over Oakland
This might be the most lopsided game of the year. It could seriously end 70-10.

New York Giants over TENNESSEE
The Giants have had a bad run, the Titans aren't that great. I think Eli will overcome his yips this week.

Chicago over NEW ENGLAND
The Pats looks great last week - against Green Bay, with Aaron Rodgers. Chicago is not Green Bay. This will be an awesome game.

INDIANAPOLIS over Philadelphia
This won't be good. No McNabb, no points.

SEATTLE over Green Bay
Shaun Alexander is coming back, Brett Favre has a bad funny bone, and their second stringer is done. So, who did Green Bay sign as their backup? Todd Bouman. Mr. Hot Tub himself. I guess that's not funny if you don't live in Minnesota.

And there you have it.
Last Week: 9-7
Season: 97-63