Whoa. - Keanu Reeves

So, I spent last night getting plowed. I didn't puke, but rather passed out on a couch at a friends' house. This is a major step forward for me, as me getting shitfaced generally results in me redecorating someone's bathroom, front or back yard. Although I feel like absolute crap today because I didn't puke, I'm proud that I didn't heave the chicken parmesan that I'd had earlier in the evening - the same chicken parmesan that my Dad used to make on Wednesday nights while we would watch Unsolved Mysteries. Robert Stack scared the shit out of me.

Football picks, home team in CAPS.

Indianapolis over TENNESSEE
This game will be closer than you'd think. The Titans almost beat Indy awhile back, but Vince Young is coming into some type of his own.

ST LOUIS over Arizona
I hear Pat Summerall will be commentating this game. Hide the scotch.

CHICAGO over Minnesota
This one will be closer than you think too, but the Vikes will fall on their face again.

New York Jets over GREEN BAY
It must suck to be Brett Favre.

NEW ORLEANS over San Francisco
I bet the Dolphins are kicking themselves now that they picked Daunte over Drew Brees. I'm sure I probably said that same thing a few weeks ago, but it's still great to say.

San Diego over BUFFALO
So I was wrong about the Chargers last week, they didn't score 70 points against Phillip, but hey, they won didn't they?

Kansas City over CLEVELAND
Trent Green's return resulted in a win, but nothing special. He should be able to beat up on the Brownstains.

WASHINGTON over Atlanta
Can you spell overrated with Michael Vick?

NEW ENGLAND over Detroit
This could be murder.

MIAMI over Jacksonville
Close game, but the Jags are horrible on the road.

Houston over OAKLAND
The Texans might make Oakland's offense look decent, but it's still Oakland.

PITTSBURGH over Tampa Bay
Does anyone care that this game is happening?

Dallas over NEW YORK GIANTS
Tony Romo is hot shit. Yeah, I'm a Romosexual. I wish I could display sarcasm in text. I can't stand the Cowboys, and I can't stand the Giants.

DENVER over Seattle
Tough game, Alexander and Hasselbeck are back, but this one will be in Denver, with cold weather and possibly snow.

CAROLINA over Philadelphia
All I can say is: Sorry Philly. For everything.

And there you have it.
Last Week: 11-5
Season: 108-68