Everyone has AIDS.

I'm sitting here watching Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer on CBS for what probably is the 23rd consecutive year. Christmas is near. What I've always wondered is why when Rudolph's nose blinks, it makes a weird whistling sound, like someone who breathes too hard through the gap in their teeth, or when my dad falls asleep on the couch, and is wheezing through his nose.


I know that recently my football picks haven't garnered much attention, because they've been borderline horrible, and I haven't been able to provide witty commentary on each game, so this week I will just give the winners in an effort to pick the winners instead of trying to be funny.

Regardless, football picks:

Baltimore over KANSAS CITY

Tennessee over HOUSTON

CAROLINA over New York Giants

CINCINNATI over Oakland

Philadelphia over WASHINGTON

Atlanta over TAMPA BAY

Indianapolis over JACKSONVILLE

Minnesota over DETROIT

New England over MIAMI

SAN FRANCISCO over Green Bay

Seattle over ARIZONA

NEW YORK JETS over Buffalo

SAN DIEGO over Denver

DALLAS over New Orleans

Chicago over ST LOUIS

And there you have it.
Last week: 8-8
Season: 116-76