I'm a white male, age 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me, no matter how dumb my suggestions are.

For those of you who haven't seen it, go here:

Get Down With Ya Bad Self

Sorry I couldn't load it directly into the blog, I'm working on that. However, this is quite possibly the best video in the history of mankind. I believe this is before Menudo. Why didn't they have a midget Menudo? The potential was there.

On to football!

I'm just going to call games straight up, no spreads. Although I understand spreads, I don't follow every team nearly that close, and it can get confusing for anyone reading who doesn't understand it. Besides, I've had a 75-80% success rate over the past 4 years, so I think I do it pretty well.

Home Teams in Caps, pick is in bold:

San Francisco @ KANSAS CITY
KC is still reeling after losing Trent Green to a concussion. Although they're one of the toughest beats on the road, I don't see the offense clicking enough to keep up with the 7 squareds.

Miami @ HOUSTON
If I know anything, its that Daunte Culpepper sucks, especially in a west coast offense, which is what Mike Mularkey thinks works. Well, without a QB that can dump short passes and avoid the INT, you end up 1-2 Miami. I pick the Texans for their first win of the year, plus my boss is from Houston.

Dallas @ TENNESSEE
Tennessee may be the worst team in the league, only because Oakland should be in NFL Europe right now. As long as Kerry Collins is still "leading" this team - maybe he's been drunk the last 3 weeks - and Vince Young only plays one series per half, the Titans are going nowhere. Look for Dallas to put the T.O. O.D. behind them and blow out the Titans, even with Drew Bledsoe.

Indianapolis @ NEW YORK JETS
While the Jets have looks decent the past 3 weeks, they gave up almost 500 yards of offense in losing to Buffalo. BUFFALO! If things were relative, Peyton would have a shot at 1000 yards passing. But we all know that couldn't happen...Look for Indy to roll in NY.

Minnesota @ BUFFALO
This should be an interesting game. The Vikes need to prove they have an offense, and Buffalo needs to retain some pride. I think the Vikings will come out with the victory, by as much as a TD, but we need more O Brads.

San Diego @ BALTIMORE
Talk about a great game. Baltimore has a great defense, but they still have McNair leading the offense. He's due to collapse any day now because of his arthritic hip. LT looks too good, and the Chargers are off a bye week.

New Orleans @ CAROLINA
Yes, the Saints are 3-0, but they beat Cleveland and Green Bay, and had emotion going for them last Monday against Atlanta. That is exactly why they won't win this week. They will be drained, and the actual grass at Panther Stadium will expose the slowness of their defense, as the FieldTurf at the SuperDome brings the other team to their level, thus overrating them last week.

Arizona @ ATLANTA
If I were the Falcons, I'd be pissed. And I'm sure they are, and they are going to take it out on Kurt Warner. Their D is better than they showed last week, and Arizona isn't really that great, they've just played poor teams. We might see Matt Leinart this week, but that won't help the Cards much either.

Detroit @ ST. LOUIS
Snoozer of the week. Detroilet can't score hardly at all, and all St. Louis can do is kick field goals. However, the Lions are HORRIBLE on the road, not to mention at home too, but they will be overmatched this weekend in game that the score will look closer than the game was.

Cleveland @ OAKLAND
Coma of the week. Cleveland will win. Art Shell will say nothing and scribble on his clipboard.

Jacksonville @ WASHINGTON
Jacksonville may be the best team in football, their defense will make you bleed, but Leftwich can kill the team. Washington hasn't looked like the playoff bound team people thought they'd be, probably because their quarterback is 62 and has the mobility of a beached manatee.

New England @ CINCINNATI
Tom Brady needs to get over the fact that Deion Branch left, and the front office isn't pushing for anyone. Until he gets his head out of his ass, he's going to get beat by good teams, and the Bengals are a good team, off the field issues are another story. The stadium will be loud, and the reeling Pats defense will have a hard time containing Rudi, TJ Whosyourmama, Chad and Travis (window puker) Henry.

Seattle @ CHICAGO
As much as I hate to do this, Chicago will win, simply because Shawn Alexander will be sitting. This destroys the playmaking ability of Matt Hasselbeck, as there is no other threat other than his wideouts, which will be covered thoroughly. Chicago wins a close one at home.

Green Bay @ PHILADELPHIA
Green Bay sucks, they always have no matter what their record states, and Philly is pretty good this year, if you haven't noticed. (27 point comebacks aside). Look for Brett FavRE to throw at LEAST 1 pick, and the Eagles will roll upwards of 40 points on the Pack.

There you have it.
Last week: 8-6
Season: 31-15